


in life there will always be tomato stains

by spideyfan69



Category: Kingsman (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drinking, Funny, Grown ups, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 10:53:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19130566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideyfan69/pseuds/spideyfan69
Summary: It’s not his fault. He was born that way. The universe made him almost incapable of expressing dislike if it meant hurting someone’s feelings. It just happened, no one to blame but complicated genetics and maybe god, if you believed in him. Peter’s problem with being frontal about things was probably also because whenever he did something horrible or stupid, Peter would rather not hear about it, too.





	in life there will always be tomato stains

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic from yours truly! Still haven't found the time to read anything else for this ship, I've just been super busy with school. I wrote this in half an hour in between exams just to take my mind off things so it's not stellar literature ahah
> 
> Shout out to X for the beta, you know who you are ;)

Peter’s not good at many things. He’s not good at either literature or accounting, which made school life a tricky one. He’s not good at understanding jokes and puns, nor is he good at telling them. He’s not good at picking a movie everyone likes. He isn’t a very good cook either (although he’ll always be better than Ned). Of course, there are many things he’s good at like dancing, singing and running, which is very good for him since they’re what his job mainly consists of. The things he’s good at are not the point though, the point is Peter’s not good at many things and one of them is being frontal about things he doesn’t like.

It’s not his fault. He was born that way. The universe made him almost incapable of expressing dislike if it meant hurting someone’s feelings. It just happened, no one to blame but complicated genetics and maybe god, if you believed in him. Peter’s problem with being frontal about things was probably also because whenever he did something horrible or stupid, Peter would rather not hear about it, too. 

Most of the time, this ‘personality trait’ Peter has raises no problems in his life, since it can be dealt with fair ease. All Peter has to do is smile politely and try to move on from whatever disaster is in front of him as inconspicuously as he can.

Other times though, the problem just can’t be avoided. It’s like having this big, messy tomato sauce stain on his favourite shirt. It’s there, it’s red, it’s greasy and it’s not going away anytime soon until Peter washes it. Oh, how Peter despairs when he has to do it. How he wishes somebody else would be the man it pains him to be and just tell whoever made the latest mess to clean it up. How he wishes the tricky game of life hadn’t chose him to deliver terrible information.

The latest piece of information Peter has to deliver that should increase someone’s life quality, if told correctly, is this: 

> [Written and directed by Roxy and Ned, who claim no responsibility and cannot perform the brave act themselves due to pressing need of more beer pong players in Josh’s birthday party, which they’re all currently attending].
> 
> “Eggsy, your blonde highlights look like shit. Please get rid of them or you’re getting kicked out of the band (but not really).”

It takes many minutes of great mental and physical preparation for Peter to feel prepared. These minutes mainly consist of Peter repeating to himself that he can do it, that he’s a brave, little soldier and Eggsy’s not going to be mad because he respects Peter’s solid advice and everything’s going to be okay, mixed with some push-ups to release any excess of adrenaline that might thinking of coming out to play during one of the most critical moments of Peter’s life.

Peter finds Eggsy leaning on a handrail with both his arms, sipping his drink occasionally but mainly looking at the stars with that brooding, pensive face he so desperately – and rightly – adores. He’s drinking a Sex on the Beach, something Peter knows because that’s always the first drink Eggsy orders for the giggles. He’s also, thankfully, alone.

“Hey Li, what’s up?” Eggsy asks when he spots Peter out of the corner of his eye. 

“Nothing, nothing… Just wanted to get some fresh air.” Eggsy nods at this very Peter-like answer and goes back to staring at the stars. When he doesn’t move or say anything about Peter’s presence, Peter takes it as his cue to join Eggsy on the handrail of big discoveries about the meaning of life.

“So… What about you? Any news to share?” As it was said before, Peter’s really not good at confrontation. He’ll get there; he knows he will, he just doesn’t know when.

“Well, got a new tattoo, but that you already know,” Eggsy says with a cat-like grin on his face and yes, Peter does know about that one and is still desperately wishing Eggsy will give up on the idea of getting an upside down twin on his other arm, “also, dyed my hair. Just the tips, I don’t think you can see it now because of the lights, they’re a bit light.”

Ok. This is it, Peter thought. This is the moment. Eggsy has breached the topic first and it’s the perfect opportunity for Peter to tell him that his new blonde highlights make him look like a hobo with bad taste. 

Only Peter never gets the chance to say anything before Eggsy continues speaking.

“They’re temporary by the way, before you or any of the guys get your panties in a twist about them. I lost a bet to my brother and this was the result.” Eggsy says as he waves his hand around his hair. “They’ll come off in a week or two.”

Peter has enough self-control to not release a breathe of relief while still talking to Eggsy, even managing to add something to the conversation before escaping, “if I got some pink ones and Ned some blue, we could start calling ourselves The Primary Colors.” The joke sounded flat even before it left Peter’s mouth, but it was the best he could come up with under the sweat and pressure building around him...

The second Eggsy’s eyes are no longer on him though, his whole body sags as he lets out all the air in his lungs. To any passerby looking at him, it might have looked like Peter had suddenly lost the will to live. He didn’t; in fact he felt quite the opposite.

Peter has just survived another confrontation without any kind of permanent or temporary damage, a great victory in Peter’s book of ‘Confrontations I’ve Had With People That I Wish I Could Erase From Existence But Recognise They Had To Be Done’. This book is obviously imaginary and exists in Peter’s mind only; otherwise there‘d be a lot more grammar mistakes in the title alone.

As he heads towards the bar for a beer to help him relax, Peter lets himself breathe freely. Now that the danger is no longer looming ahead of him, the prospect of some beer pong with the rest of the lads sounds more than inviting. 

This brief moment of existential happiness is also very worthy of enjoyment because, as its name says, it’s brief. Yes, Peter has gone through a confrontation and escaped harmless, but others will come and who knows what will happen then?

That’s the only certainty in Peter’s life: there will always be tomato stains to wash, no matter how many he’s washed already. After all the game of life is not only played dirty, but also without napkins or proper cutlery. 


End file.
